The Monkey On My Back

It’s more like a gorilla, to be honest. The thing that sits on my shoulders like the proverbial devil, and whispers thoughts into my consciousness and influences my mood and emotions – won’t go away. It has a firm grip on me. It is my master. I am helpless to it’s instructions no matter howContinue reading “The Monkey On My Back”

Like Broken Glass

I feel fragile right now; transparent and easily cracked. Like a well-engineered glass sculpture or building that has been compromised, I need to close temporarily for repairs. Less than a week ago, radicalized Trump supporters overran our nation’s Capitol and threatened our Democracy like we haven’t seen in our lifetimes – nor have our Grandparents.Continue reading “Like Broken Glass”

The Imposter Is Me

Remember how, at the end of the movie The Sixth Sense, Bruce Willis finds out he’s been dead all along? Can you imagine the shock of finding out something about yourself that is a total game changer? I had an epiphany yesterday. I realized for the first time in my life that I am anContinue reading “The Imposter Is Me”

Contents Under Pressure

I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle lately and he talks about the pain body.  It’s basically a sort of being that is a part of you that feeds off of emotion. I find the concept plausible and fascinating and I like metaphors. My pain body is obese. It has plenty to eat. A whole smorgasbord, openContinue reading “Contents Under Pressure”

Is This It?

I’m in my fifties. If I was able to change, should I have been able to do so by now or is this it? It’s a harsh question to ask oneself but sometimes I do. I’ve been in counseling forever and I’ve engaged in cognitive behavioral therapy. I’ve tried methods I’ve learned from various professionalsContinue reading “Is This It?”

What REALLY Causes Depression And Anxiety?

What is at the root of depression and anxiety? Are there multiple causes (I think so) and if so, are there factors that weigh more heavily than others? I believe genetics plays a roll because of my family history. The way we live socially, does too. Could lack of sleep be a factor? How aboutContinue reading “What REALLY Causes Depression And Anxiety?”